The craziness begins again...and I can't wait!

             The time has come and summer is almost over. For some parents, this is a happy time cause they get their children out of their hair. For me it is depressing. I love spending time with all my children. We all love sleeping past 8 am. 

             My previous blog was about all the changes coming to the Stevens house. Well evidently we have unconsciously decided to put most of those plans on hold until after the cooler weather starts. We did have a smaller box garden this year. For the most part it was great! Until the dreaded squash bugs found it and then it ended quickly. We still have a few tomato plants that are doing well and I think 1 or 2 of the 12 watermelon that were growing is still alive and kicking, but other than that it is a lost cause at this point. The bugs haven't touch the jalapeno's though...lol. 

              One thing we did do was become members on Wizard101. (For anyone who doesn't know what this is, it is a kids online wizard game...similar to D&D, but not really...lol.) This is something the young two have been playing for a while but the free version has limited access. The older two started playing it and thought it was super cool that they could all battle together and defeat the enemy. They wanted Jamie and I to join in and make it a family affair. So we did.....this prompted the membership. It is kinda fun to be in a battle and ask your son for help. He shows up and is your knight in shining armor and slays the bad guy. Makes him feel all big and bad...hehehe. 

              Of course, just like an anything else we have had our deal of issues. Car trouble is one of things at the top of the list right now. Nothing major, but enough to be annoying. Thankfully we have awesome friends with awesome abilities and who love us dearly! One of the things that has happen this summer that has affected me personal is the declining health of both of my grandmothers. This is something that I knew was coming, but is still never easy to deal with. My mother and I had a conversation at Mother's Day this year about making sure it was a good one for them because we are too afraid it will be the last year that we have them both.  Both of my grandfathers have pasted away. All I have left are grandmothers. I am very thankful and grateful to have known all of my grandparents because some people don't ever get that opportunity. I have spent my whole life surrounded by very strong women. To see those same women become older, ill, and frail is simply not an easy thing to watch. I have learned a Lot about my family health history this summer that's for sure. But as I sit  here with tear running down my cheeks, I can't help but hurt for the loss I know is coming. This month, my Gma Hoots (My mom's mom) will be 85 years old. She has fallen several times, has been in a nursing home and is now living with my aunt and my mom (joint custody...lol) due to the need for 24 hour care. She is slowly becoming weaker by the day, but her smile will still light up a room. I live for that smile! My Gma Conrad (my dad's mom) turned 93 in June. She still lives at home alone and mostly cares for herself. She has fallen as well a few times and has just had the good fortune of only receiving bruises and a hurt ego. She is one tough cookie! She is probably the strongest willed person I know! She will tell it like it is! She has told me on more than one occasion that she is just waiting for gpa to come get her and she wished he would hurry up. (He died of Lung Cancer when I was 11)I don't see them as much as I should. I know I will regret this someday. I am not sure if I am worried for them (kids carry germs you know!, and the kids are So active it wears the gmas out to be in the same room as them for 5 mins!) as much as I am trying to protect myself. This is a hard thing to admit. In addition to the declining health of my grandmothers, I have a sneaky suspicion that my mothers health is not getting any better. My mother is a take charge type women (I blame her totally for becoming this way myself ;-) ) and I have noticed lately that she asked me for help way more than I thought she ever ever would. This scares me to a degree, but I am putting it on the back burner and not gonna think about it right now. 

                   In other news, Joshua starts high school in 2 days. I know he is nervous but will do great. He is on the football team so he already has a few friends which helps me to feel a little better. Before long it will be Drivers Ed for him. He is becoming a very handsome young man that will go very far in this world! Kaitlin will be starting school next Tuesday with the younger two. She is going into 8th grade and is wanting to try out for volleyball. She is beautiful, strong willed, and intelligent. She has the world at her feet. Damien starts middle school and is a bit nervous about the whole changing class thing but with Kaitlin on the same hall it is a bit easier. Austen is in 4th grade. He is looking forward to seeing all of his friends again.

                 Jamie is still working on his book and it is coming together very nicely! I can't wait to read it in its entirety. He is my rock in these very emotional times for me. Without him I would be lost, a lamb trying to befriend the wolves. I have taken on a new venture...healthy eating..I know, but shock right?? No seriously, after all I have learned about my family health history, my health and the health of my children have become very important to me. I want to be around to enjoy playing outside with my grandbabies someday. I can't play outside with them if I am a 300 pound diabetic! It is a work in progress and a complete baby step process at that,but we are working on it. 

                   The week after Kaitlin, Damien, and Austen start back to school, I start back to school. I am taking 6 classes in the hopes that I will only have 5 left in the Spring and then I will graduate in May!!! YAY ME! With sports, classes, and what tiny bit of a personal life I have, I stay busy busy 24/7. But I wouldn't have it any other way. Our life is crazy and total ciaos sometimes but that's what pushes me to be the strong person I am... to deal with our life. All in all it has been a wonderfully lazy, relaxing summer. Even though I am not ready for them to go back to school, i am definitely ready for the sports! Bring on the craziness!!!!

I love this song and the video just sums up our goof personalities! I think this song represents our summer well.

And we grow....some more!

               Jamie and I made the decision to tie our families together (with their consent..the kids that is) in August of 2006. At that time, we (Jamie, I and all 4 kids) lived in a single wide in East Bend. It was cramped but not overly so because the kids were still little. In Feb 2008 we moved into our current home on 8 acres of land. It is an 1800sq ft double wide and it is home sweet home. Before we moved in, we spent 5 months painting and moving to prepare this house to be the first home for everyone as a family. 
          In the last 3 years we have done a lot of things to the property. We have planted a veggie garden, expanded this garden, rescued more animals, planted flowers, started a grove, moved a hill, sowed grass, transplanted grass, started a memorial garden, put in a road, and fenced in the back yard. There is so much more we want to do. Where do we begin? Well, lets see. We want to fence in the rest of the property (about 4 acres) that is behind the house. I want to build a front porch and back deck. I want a covered garage and an out building to store stuff in, plus Jamie wants an out building for lawn stuff (lawn mower, rakes, etc..). I want a cute little fence coming off the side of the house with an arch in the middle so my roses can climb it. We also want to be more self-sufficiant. This means growing a better crop, learning to can, possible digging a cellar to be able to store the canned goods with as little man made energy as possible, and having more animals. With these animals comes change and added responsiblity. So where do we even begin with all of this. I am thinking the first thing we need to do is figure out What animals we want. 
         One of the first things we did was to go on a tour at a self sustaining farm that is close by. I grew up with the daughter of this particular farmer. In fact, she was a good friend of mine and I spent many a Saturday morning at their kitchen table eating cereal with goats milk. The farmer is a retired teacher and just so happens to have been my kindergarten teacher. The tour was very informing to both of us, Jamie and Kaitlin especially. During this tour, we found out that 2 of the baby goats are for sale and they are dairy goats. Jamie jumped all over that and I will admit to being a little happy about it despite my ranting, raving, and stomping of my feet in protest to getting a goat for the last year (at the very least). Working for a large animal vet for several years, you get to see all the trouble these animals can be! Ok, so now we have a goat on hold for us....Awesome! Where the hell are we gonna put the damned thing???
         First things first, how much is the food (cause they have to be grain feed once a day for the vitamins and minerals, and have to have hay in the winter when the grass is all dead or covered in snow). This was a trip to the local LTD.The poor guy behind the counter was so very sweet in answering my endless stream of questions. I got the info I needed and figured out that the food part my not be as bad as I thought. Awesome, one problem solved, next! Where are we putting the goat? This is were I have to do a little explaining. See we have an "L" shaped garden. The long part of the "L" is where we have been (trying) to plant veggies (very unsuccessfully cause it is clay soil and sucks when trying to grow ANYTHING in it) and the short part is where we have some bushes growing (grapes, blueberry, and thornless blackberry). Since the garden has been doing horrible for the past 2 years, we decided this year to start some very small boxes in the side yard. They are doing Great!!!  We tried the boxes in the garden last year and that didnt even work. These boxes will have to be moved. I am thinking they can be put on the hill beside the driveway, near the top and all the viney stuff can be planted there next year. They will have the Whole hill to roam on. So we have decided to put the goat(s) in the fenced in area that is now the "old" garden. Now we have to figure out how to block off the short part of the "L" from the goat. We have been working in this part of the garden trying to kill all the grass to keep the bushes from being sufficated and lay down mulch. I get the bright idea to move Abby's (one of the rescue dogs that is too goofy to stay in the house without being in the kennel) lot around. I can move her dog house into the upper part of the backyard and add a small fenced in area for her and she can just stay in the main part of the back yard most of the time. The lot she is in has 12 foot tall and 12 foot long panels that connect together. There are 8 of them total. I can move one of these down to the opening of the short "L" and add a gate and that problem is solved...Awesome (now to actually move it..ugh!). The other 7 panels can be used to form new fencing to extend the garden area and section into 2 sections. Now we have to areas for the goat and for chickens (thats right, I said Chickens!). Now to come up with a shelter for this goat. It has to be a place that can be made safe at night due to the coyotes that are running around here. It can be simple for now, but by winter it needs to be shed like with plenty of room so any animals that are in it are safe and warm with access to food and water. This just keeps getting more and more complicated. The chicken side of this pen is the easy side. The chicken house is already made, we just have to go get it. Then to get some chickens (about 4) and a rooster, water pan and feed dish and we are set. The goat needs a feed area plus water area. Goats need their hooves trimmed about once a month (need to learn to do this!)
             Jamie wants bees! I think this is awesome because it will help our garden grow! Plus we get HONEY!!!!!! Yumm. The farm we went to visit had 6 hives. The health benefits of honey and bees are endless. So where do we put the bees? I honestly haven't even put any thought into this yet. I will leave that one up to Jamie...It can be his baby..totally!
             My thoughts are, if we are going through all this change for the goat, we might as well throw a cute little piggy in there too. I am not talking a farm pig that will be beefed (cause once its named, eating it is out of the question!) that gets to be 400-500 pounds and eats 10 pounds of food a day! NO! I am talking a cute little mini potbelly that gets 100 pounds full grown. 2 cups of food a day and a mud hole, weekly bath, monthly hoof trimming and your good. 
            Add ALL this on top of the normal cleaning and washing it takes to maintain a 6 person house, one adult with a full time job, one adult in full time college, and 4 kids always active in something and you have our happy little home.
       

Watch out for the REALLY BIG soap box!!!!!!!

Warning! Warning! Soap Box in sight! Warning! Warning!

Ok, now that you have been dutifully warned, I am stepping up onto the soap box. Problem is I don't even know where to begin with this rant!

To be polite and ETHICAL I will leave out all names but my own!

I was having a conversation with someone today (actually with about 5 people in the group, but only the individual and I were talking while everyone else listened as we spoke to the group as a whole in our conversation) and the conversation started out with this person talking about one of their step children. No big deal I thought, as I have step children of my own. This person also has 2 older children biologically. This individual starts talking about how much their 13 year old step child can drive them nuts. Ok I'm still with you cause I can understand all this so far. My OWN kids drive me nuts some days! Then we start talking about change and how this upsets some children. I mention that I completely understand this due to the fact that I have a son with Asperger's Syndrome. The next part of the conversation floored me, upset me, pissed me off, and made me understand why some people hate their step parents. The individual informs me "Oh, my step child has Asperger's too, I just don't want anyone to know. The teachers at the school don't even know. I don't want my step child to have a complex later on." WHAT! Who has the complex????All your doing by not letting the school know or doing any kind of IEP(Individual Education Plan) is hindering that child. I am still thinking "Whatever" at this point. THEN the individual starts talking about some of the things the step child does. " My step child was told to leave the pool skimmer alone, but there was bug in the pool so instead of leaving it alone my step child gets the pool skimmer, gets the bug out and then Drops the skimmer breaking it. Man I yelled but all I heard was "It's not my fault, It's not my fault!"(Spoken in a whiny voice!) " I said well some children and or teens with Asperger's have a hard time understanding some concepts and need it explained to them. The response I got can be summed up in being told that the step child is not raised any differently then the older children, the fact that the child doesn't understand and wants things explained are nerve racking, and this is topped off with an eye roll. Oh wow!!!! Really! I know it is pointless to tell a person like this that all children are individuals and can't all be raised the same. What works for one person will not work for all!! GGGRRR! Blood is getting hotter but I am still keeping my cool at this point. Then the kicker " I just tell my step child that if they don't like my rules at MY house they can go live with their other parent, but that's not goona happen. " At this point I look at the classmate that is sitting new to me and say "Change the subject before I show myself!" 
     You may ask why all this bothers me so much. Well being a parent of 2 special needs children (Asperger's and ADHD), having a best friend that has a specialized degree in special education, having a good friend that is on the board for the special Olympic's, having 2 very good friends/family members that have special needs children, and having done my own research, I know the damage that can be done from ignoring a special needs child. I am by no means an expert in Asperger's but I do atleast have some back ground. To understand a special needs child, you have to get into their head and figure out how THEIR brain works. It is not going to work the same as everyone else. This is why they are SPECIAL! If you don't want to put in that much effort, fine, but at least knowledge that the child needs help. Don't fore go the childs education to keep yourself from being embarressed. You can have all the information you want on Asperger's syndrome with the click of a mouse.
    I am past the anger at this point as all this happened about 6 hours ago. I have moved on to the thought of all the children in this world that just want some one to try to understand. They need to be told about the diagnoses and explained that thei are not the only child on the planet like this. There is nothing "wrong" with them! They are smart enough to know that they are not like everyone else. Try a little support! Put yourself in their shoes. If every thought and action you had seemed to be different from everyone elses, dont you think you would notice? It is better in the long run to hepl them understand their diagnoses at an age they can understand (not a 4 year old obviously) then to let them grow up, become adults, and learn to deal with it all on their own..
         I guess I will never understand why some people are so narrow-minded and can only think one way.


Ok,ok....stepping off of soap box now.

It's not always monkey see, money do!

Before you throw me to the wolves, listen to all I have to say first.........

I have tried my best to teach my kids to be individuals. I have tried to teach them not to worry about what others think of you, do your own thing. So when my youngest son came home from school a couple weeks ago wanting his finger nails painted pink it surprised me and made me happy. Of course my first question was "Why?". The answer...well my child explained to me that at first it was a dare from a girl at school that turned into him actually thinking about it and what it meant to him. For anyone who knows Austen and his ADHD self, he is not very deep sometimes. So the dare turned into him realizing that pink is just a color and not just a girls color. Boys can wear pink and they will not melt. He was told to wear black if he wanted his nails painted because it was a manly color. He countered with "My sister wears black fingernail polish". Pink and purple have been some of his favorite colors all of his life. He has decided that liking these colors are not a bad thing, but actually ok. I partly thank the gym teacher at his school. He is a short, stocky, buff guy that is a father and wrestling coach. He wears pink all the time and explains to the kids that it takes a "Real Man" to wear pink. Austen finally came out with "Mom, I want my finger nails painted pink so that I can show people that pink is just a color and not for just girls." How can I fault the kid????? This is everything I have ever taught him about being an individual!!! BUT......I know my child and other children his age. He is in 3rd grade. Kids in 3rd grade can be ruthless and don't quite get indivduality sometimes. So...what to do????? This may sound bad, but if it were any of my other children I would have done it without question because I know they have a strong enough personality to handle it. I also know that Austen does not have a strong enough personality to handle all the ridicule regardless of what he counters with. He would be labeled "The Girly Boy" until atleast middle school if not longer. The compromise......we paint his nails over spring break. I never once told him I wouldn't do it and let him wear it to school, I was just too busy to paint them until spring break. The color will wear off in a week and the polish will be lost untill summer. I can't let him do this at school, but I can't fault him for wanting to show his individuality. I mean seriously, with teenagers walking around with pink, purple, blue, and/or green hair how can I fault my kids? This goes back to the previous blog of letting them grow up and learning to let them be themselves. The final decision....alternating pink and black fingernails :-)

Learning to let go

Being a parent is never easy. Yes, sometimes it is fun and can always be rewarding, but it is never easy. The hardest part? Learning to let them grow up. I remember when mine where just little babies. I couldn't wait for the day they would walk. That day came and what happened? I held their hands. I couldn't make myself let go. What if they fall and get hurt? What if, what if, what if.....I can go on forever. I am having a hard time with letting them grow up. We are trying to teach them how to take care of themselves. Teaching them to cook, clean, and how to take care of and help each other. That is our job right? So why is it so hard to let them actually do it after we spent so much time trying to teach them? Is it the what if fear again? Or is it just the " I am not ready for them to grow up yet" fear? I know I can't keep them little forever. I know that I can't keep them in the house forever. The day will come when they get their own places to live and will move out. I am in no way, shape, or form anywhere near Close to dealing with this yet, but I will have to get there one day. I won't have a choice. They will make their own mistakes in life and I have to be strong enough to let them. I have to be strong enough to let them make the mistake and wait patiently until they ask for help. Stepping in to make it all better will only teach them that I can fix it. They have to learn from the mistake or it wasn't worth making. I have learned this the hard way in my own life. My parents stepped in and fixed it. I didn't learn anything and so I just did it again. I did get myself into a position eventually that my parents couldn't get me out of....thats when I grew up. Thats when the light bulb came on and I learned from my mistakes. I have never forgotten that valuable lesson and feel our kids need to learn that lesson in order to grow up and be strong, responsible adults. I am now on a new road of learning and that is learning to let the kids become the adults that I know they can be. No one ever said that life is easy, but being a parent is sometimes the hardest part.

Bella Boo

             Today was a great day to be proud of our boxer Bella. We tried to get her certified as a therapy dog. That way she can go to hospitals or nursing homes to visit and help people feel better. I also feel this would be a wonderful experience for the children ....to get them out to see that people have things going on in there life that is uncontrollable. To be able to make a child smile that is going through chemo treatments, the light to shines in there eyes is a priceless thing to witness. To visit with shut ins that may have had dogs all there lives but now cant care for them. That is a feeling you can't teach.
      Bella did not pass her test.....why you might ask. She is a wonderful dog and great with people. She did not pass the test only because she refused to lay down on command. She did everything else perfectly!!! Just like a damned kid! Oh well...we have 6 to 8 months to work on it and we will try again. We only have one more shot and then it will be an Epic fail as she will not be able to try again.I am very proud of her though.....she preformed very well. What a good girl she is.

Needless to say...we Will be working on "lay" every chance we get....
     

New to this

YAY! Welcome to the world of Blogging for me. (As if I don't have enough to do). This is going to be my small spot in life. I will vent, rant, bitch, laugh, cry, and let it all out on here. There will be posts about life, love, religion, and general thought. Some of you will be offended....take this as your one and only warning and turn away now.....

Ok, now that all of that is out of the way.....Hi, this is Karen. I have adopted the name of Eibleann (ave-linn), Meaning "pleasant, beautiful, radiant". Derived from the French name Aveline, brought to Ireland by Norman invaders. It is a way of coming into my own I guess you could say. I have a crazy hectic life full of kids, animals, errands, obligations, and love. Lots and lots of love. This blog will probably do a couple of things: 1. It will allow me to vent (I will not be held accountable or have it held against me anything I post on here). 2. Some of you will learn a little bit about me you may not already know. 3. Some of you may learn a Whole lot about me you did not already know.4. Some of you may never speak to me again.

I have come to a place in my life that I just simply don't care what others think of me anymore. I am who I am. Take me for who I am or move on. I don't have time for petty bullshit and drama. I am a mom, stepmom, wife, and track coach. I am in college full time at Forsyth Tech Community College for Crime Scene Investigation Latent Evidence. I am hoping to graduate in Spring of 2012. I may have to finish up my classes in the fall semester of 2012 which will push my graduation to 2013.....Considering 13 is my lucky number, this will probably be the date. I have 2 sons and and step son and step daughter(who I love as if they were my own). My youngest has Asthma and ADHD, this is Austen. Damien is the next in line. He has Asperger's which is on the autisic spectrum. These two challenges are in and of them selves sometimes exhausting. Add in 6 dogs (because we rescue and foster *which, btw, I have 2 up for adoption*) and 4 cats, some fish and you have our (My wonderful hubby, Jamie *Here in known as HergerSeamus*) crazy life.

Welcome to my future dreams and all out bitch sessions.