Warning! Warning! Soap Box in sight! Warning! Warning!
Ok, now that you have been dutifully warned, I am stepping up onto the soap box. Problem is I don't even know where to begin with this rant!
To be polite and ETHICAL I will leave out all names but my own!
I was having a conversation with someone today (actually with about 5 people in the group, but only the individual and I were talking while everyone else listened as we spoke to the group as a whole in our conversation) and the conversation started out with this person talking about one of their step children. No big deal I thought, as I have step children of my own. This person also has 2 older children biologically. This individual starts talking about how much their 13 year old step child can drive them nuts. Ok I'm still with you cause I can understand all this so far. My OWN kids drive me nuts some days! Then we start talking about change and how this upsets some children. I mention that I completely understand this due to the fact that I have a son with Asperger's Syndrome. The next part of the conversation floored me, upset me, pissed me off, and made me understand why some people hate their step parents. The individual informs me "Oh, my step child has Asperger's too, I just don't want anyone to know. The teachers at the school don't even know. I don't want my step child to have a complex later on." WHAT! Who has the complex????All your doing by not letting the school know or doing any kind of IEP(Individual Education Plan) is hindering that child. I am still thinking "Whatever" at this point. THEN the individual starts talking about some of the things the step child does. " My step child was told to leave the pool skimmer alone, but there was bug in the pool so instead of leaving it alone my step child gets the pool skimmer, gets the bug out and then Drops the skimmer breaking it. Man I yelled but all I heard was "It's not my fault, It's not my fault!"(Spoken in a whiny voice!) " I said well some children and or teens with Asperger's have a hard time understanding some concepts and need it explained to them. The response I got can be summed up in being told that the step child is not raised any differently then the older children, the fact that the child doesn't understand and wants things explained are nerve racking, and this is topped off with an eye roll. Oh wow!!!! Really! I know it is pointless to tell a person like this that all children are individuals and can't all be raised the same. What works for one person will not work for all!! GGGRRR! Blood is getting hotter but I am still keeping my cool at this point. Then the kicker " I just tell my step child that if they don't like my rules at MY house they can go live with their other parent, but that's not goona happen. " At this point I look at the classmate that is sitting new to me and say "Change the subject before I show myself!"
You may ask why all this bothers me so much. Well being a parent of 2 special needs children (Asperger's and ADHD), having a best friend that has a specialized degree in special education, having a good friend that is on the board for the special Olympic's, having 2 very good friends/family members that have special needs children, and having done my own research, I know the damage that can be done from ignoring a special needs child. I am by no means an expert in Asperger's but I do atleast have some back ground. To understand a special needs child, you have to get into their head and figure out how THEIR brain works. It is not going to work the same as everyone else. This is why they are SPECIAL! If you don't want to put in that much effort, fine, but at least knowledge that the child needs help. Don't fore go the childs education to keep yourself from being embarressed. You can have all the information you want on Asperger's syndrome with the click of a mouse.
I am past the anger at this point as all this happened about 6 hours ago. I have moved on to the thought of all the children in this world that just want some one to try to understand. They need to be told about the diagnoses and explained that thei are not the only child on the planet like this. There is nothing "wrong" with them! They are smart enough to know that they are not like everyone else. Try a little support! Put yourself in their shoes. If every thought and action you had seemed to be different from everyone elses, dont you think you would notice? It is better in the long run to hepl them understand their diagnoses at an age they can understand (not a 4 year old obviously) then to let them grow up, become adults, and learn to deal with it all on their own..
I guess I will never understand why some people are so narrow-minded and can only think one way.
Ok,ok....stepping off of soap box now.
